Our conversations here have been delightfully light and certainly reflect our mood at the moment. Underlying the enjoyment of friends, the appreciation of the beauties of each day, and the gift of a good appetite, is the fact that my tumor is still growing, and the medications which are giving me energy will not sustain it forever.
I don't feel like a dying man at the moment. However, I do not want to exist in denial of the undetectable progress of my disease. This is not particularly morbid. I think it is a mental preparation for physical losses which are sure to come. I hope that by anticipating them I will be able to cope better with them.
In everything I feel guided and sustained by the Spirit.
Posted by Donel at April 22, 2005 09:37 AMDear Don,
I just finished reading "The Blue Shoe" by Anne Lamott. As the main character struggles through her story, she comments to a friend, "I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop." The friend replies, "God only has one shoe."
God only has one shoe, and it has already dropped. We're forgiven and beloved. That's the shoe. There's no other shoe to drop.
Grace, peace and kisses,
Janet (the other one)
Posted by: Janet Craswell at April 22, 2005 11:53 AMDon,
It's good to have your reflections and wisdom as you move through this journey. You help me with mine. Grace and peace, good friend,
Russ
Posted by: Russ Bennett at April 22, 2005 06:36 PMDear Janets,
Both of your comments are most meaningful--and Janet Craswell, I especially appreciate the thought of the "God has one shoe" image--most helpful.
Again, my appreciation to all of you for the sharing of your incredible gifts and ministries on the blog.
Marilyn
Posted by: Marilyn Gorsuch at April 23, 2005 12:03 PM
I guess I am grateful, too, for the light hearted tone and the chance to play with you for a little bit longer. I am also grateful for the gift of staying connected to what is happening with the cancer as it progresses. I hope that I will do as well with the losses as they begin to occur as I know you will. I love you.
Posted by: Janet at April 22, 2005 11:03 AM