Good Evening Donel,

My father saw angels as he lay close to death. He also saw two of his sisters who would come to reassure him of the wonderful journey that lay before him. He would talk and talk about all these experiences, and really wanted me to understand that he wasn't alone and he wasn't afraid. I held him as he died, and even though I still feel the hole in my heart, I can close my eyes and feel my father's presence. Thank you for sharing this time with all of us. You are a most special person, and I will miss your warm smile and caring heart.
Thinking of you tonight,
Cathy

Donel, I'd never seen that middle section of the "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayer! Thanks for that. I've come back to saying that occasionally these days -- at 75, it's a not unlikely wind-up to one of my bedtimes. But am more and more okay with it, I hope.

And you're doing such a good job with this, shining a light on the pathway others of us will be taking, making it easier.

Donel,

When my aunt Marie decided to not accept anymore treatment for her cancer at age 90 she told me "they shouldn't waste anymore medication on me". She was still clear headed and made her own decisions. Without the blood transfusions she started to deteriorate and my cousin called in hospice. As Marie lay in bed during her last two weeks, she seemed to me to be hallucinating. She didn't always make sense and she kept saying she had seen my father, who had died 15 years earlier. The hospice worker told us this is fairly common for someone who dies slowly, they do in fact go between two worlds. Marie continued to see my father/her brother and she told me he had remarried and was very happy. She said he was even plump, something he had never been. I know Marie found comfort in seeing her brother and I found comfort in knowing they were in the process of being reunited. My cousin tells me hospice workers see and hear these kinds of stories often.

K

Donel and friends -

My own spiritualy journey has brought me to a place where I'm having to aknowledge that I am a part of something bigger than myself. I've been fighting this idea for weeks - I appreciated Lad's account of the emotional process people go through when dealing with a terminal illness and think it applies here, too . . . I have a sense, though, that I'm doing the whole process at once. I have gone through life thinking that I am a single entity connected to God. And now I come to believe that though I am connected to God, God is an incredibly complex energetic . . . something (I don't even have the vocabulary to describe what I think)- I have a picture of what complex might look like, but I have no fantasy that it is anywhere close to God's picture. I think the scary part is that I don't know what this energetic system looks like or what it's doing, where it's going. I believe that I'm a piece of the whole and I don't think I have a choice about it. I've really been wrestling with that. I love the angels in people's stories about death - the angels in lift my spirits when they talk about a wonderous journey and being reunited. I'm often scared about being alone when I cross over to the another world, not knowing what it's all about - it sounds like people have a very comforting time making the transition. In the end, I will discover that the universe is more amazing and wonderful than anything I never knew I wanted. Until then I'm reminding myself that life is a process and even death is, too.