After discovering my diagnosis last Monday of limited months to live, I have felt better and better each day. Although I don't have unlimited energy — by a long shot — I am getting out of the house for appointments or dining. My appetite seems to be back and I can't tell you how much I welcome that. The sense of a timeline brings surprising relief to me. It now becomes easier to consider the remaining tasks before us. With that come a sense of peace.
I had a surprise on Easter Sunday. I attended services on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday but was just too tired to make the Easter Vigil and Confirmation on Saturday. Sunday morning I found five long strings of origami cranes and realized that the confirmation class had been folding them for me hoping to make 1000. The congregation joined in after the service taking paper and instructions. I was deeply moved by the wonderful gift dedicated to peace and my healing. It occurs to me that death is an entry to a realm of peace and I will be prepared to go buoyed by prayers and paper cranes.
Each day brings thoughtful and beautiful gifts. Cards, visits from friends old and new, notes on the blog from adults I knew as youth, an unexpected book from Amazon, a gift of a glass pyramid with the essence of the sea in it: sand, starfish, snails and shells, a wonderful Easter card from one of the children in the church.
The gifts are symbols of love and support beyond my wildest dreams. What a joy to be surrounded by such a company! I give thanks to God for each day's discovery of the Spirit's bounty, all expressed by you precious friends.
How can I keep from singing?
Don has been surrounded by love since before his birth. Our Mother believed that she was carrying a very special child -- and look at him now. During a church service in La Jolla on a very cloudy overcast day as Mother approached the altar for communion the sun came out and for a very few seconds bathed her with light through the stained glass window.
Don was born at home -- right across from my bedroom. Angie, the attending nurse, knew of my anticipation and excitement. She brought Don to me to hold and cuddle when he was just a few minutes old. I think we established a bond then that still holds.
Being almost 13, Don was like a real live doll to me -- I took care of him a lot (from choice) -- and would carry him to town to show him off. I never used the stroller because I wanted his face near my face -- and be able to talk to him. I don't know how many of those early days Don remembers but I remember then with great joy.
Evident by the many comments, cards, calls and gifts, Don is still and always will be surrounded by love.
I love you, Don.
Pat
Posted by: Pat Baldwin at April 1, 2005 07:42 AM
Thanks so good to hear you have regained your appetite, Donel. Let me know when you are ready for a pizza and Ben and Jerry's run!
Posted by: Marilyn at March 31, 2005 08:28 PMMarilyn