This morning I had an important announcement to make at church. On Tuesday I realized that I could not continue even at half-time in February, as long as I was continuing radiation and using pain medication. I simply could not predict my energy level or my ability to perform the tasks of ministry in a reliable way. On Wednesday morning I spoke with the church officers and told them that I would be retiring at the end of January. I then told the church staff and a few others who needed to know.
This morning, as worship began, my eye went to the carving on the pulpit. The three dancing figures were created by an artist in the congregation, Glen Goforth, a number of years ago as part of the stewardship campaign. They were incorporated into carvings by Doug Hudson, another member, on the pulpit. communion table, and four entrance doors to the sanctuary. I had always loved them, but realized today that they had become an icon of my dance with cancer as well as an image of community.
I had decided not to preach this morning so I shared my news at the time of Concerns and Celebrations at the very beginning of the service. Later was responsible for the communion prayer and assisted in serving communion. Obviously, it was a moving experience as the community and I realized that this may be the last time I celebrate the sacrament in this congregation. I was doing pretty well serving communion, until the choir began to sing "Lord of the Dance." I'm not sure some people heard me choke out "the body of Christ for you" as the long line passed my station and I offered them the broken bread.
At the annual meeting I explained a little more about what it meant for a minister of the United Church of Christ to retire.
The ethics of my profession require that upon retirement I no longer provide any pastoral services: communion, baptism, pastoral calling, or the like. Nor will I comment upon the decisions made by the church or the staff after I have retired. Generally, upon retirement, a minister is asked to leave the congregation for a minimum of a year so the church can seek new leadership without concern about the former pastor. The church had graciously waived this expectation to allow Marilyn and me to have access to worship with our beloved community as my dance with cancer continues.
So I will be in the pew, and as a layperson in the church, I will continue to offer my five-week Lenten class "Dancing with Cancer" The morning was somewhat exhausting simply because of the love and affection expressed by so many.
Now to the monumental task of cleaning out my church office and an accumulation of twenty-two years of important stuff I set aside for a later time. I know that God accompanies me in this dance, and that even I will end up with a clean office.
Posted by Donel at January 23, 2005 09:38 PM
Bless you. How fortunate I could spend four years with you every Sunday. We miss you all and are praying for you.
Love,
Rachel, Patrick, Charlotte and Celia
Since I haven't seen you in years, what I hold of you is the image of your steady energy as I knew that energy in college and renewed when I visited Bellingham years ago. In your heart, I am pretty sure you're still that spirited self. So what's a body, after all, if people remember your spirit! That's flippant, but in the big picture it's also true.
Since you and Russ Bennett are retiring simultaneously from UCC for same reason, let me know if you want his e-address.
Your family is much loved--nestle into that fact!
Susan (Samuels)
Posted by: Susan Samuels Drake at January 24, 2005 12:11 PMI think, Donel, that we can see the hand of God at work even in this week. You know that I would do anything I can for you....even to the point of helping you clean out your office....but God apparently is giving us both a pass...knowing that the two of us cleaning together would be too much for anyone to put up with much less believe! I intend to put my time off to good use, though. I have several ideas that are working their way into a skit for your retirement party. Don't say I didn't warn you....
(Sorry about the Lord of the Dance but it had to be sung. None of us made it through in very good shape either.)
Posted by: Janet at January 24, 2005 02:05 PMDonel,
I am so sorry to hear about the recent steps in your ongoing dance. I have been thinking about you all of the time, and I want you to know that I am truly inspired by the way you have battled, or danced with, your illness. I also want to thank you for sharing your journey, as there is much to learn. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I love you.
Caitlin
Posted by: Caitlin at January 24, 2005 05:54 PMDonel;
May God's grace keep you,in strength and in peace, through your trial.
As Aarene requested, I have passed your need on to the prayer chain at Cascade View Presbyterian Church in Everett. You have that many more prayer warriors interceding for you. I feel sure that will help your cause before the Throne, don't you?
Hold on, be well in spirit and perhaps we'll see you again.
Dear Don and Marilyn,
Peggy just gave me the blog address and I read it all with great interest. Wow, what a journey and what a generous gesture to share so many of your feelings and impressions, as well as the wonderful postings by the kids, It's a priviledge to be included in a sense.
I knew you had the surgery in August and we had you on the WHCC prayer chain all through that period until we knew you were mended. I hope your current course of radiation takes care of things. However, I will put you both back on the prayer chain to be sure.
It was also fun to see the comments from some of our old Woodland Hills friends-the Collins, Mary Becker, Ralph and Patti, Peggy, Joe and Eric, Signe and Jim, and Jennifer Fralick and others. You have many friends from those days, I count myself among them, always glad to have news of you and to think back on all we learned from you when you were here. I have great appreciaton of those days.
Peri, Tom and Gwen join me in wishing all of you all the best as you go through this next round of treatment, Don. We'll be following your progress.
Love, Ruth
Seeing the sunrise this morning, I was reminded of this hymn and thought I'd share it.
A glorious day is dawning, and o'er the waking earth
The heralds of the morning are springing into birth.
In dark and hidden places there shines a blessed light;
The beam of Truth displaces the darkness of the night.
The advocates of error foresee the glorious morn,
And hear in shrinking terror, the watchword of reform:
It rings from hill and valley, it breaks oppression's chain.
A thousand freemen rally, and swell the mighty strain.
The watchword has been spoken, the light has broken forth,
Far shines the blessed token upon the startled earth.
To hearts and homes benighted the blessed Truth is given
And peace and love, united, point upward unto heaven.
(I know this as sung to Missionary Hymn)
Meril
I wish that Kent & I had been there to lend our voices to "Lord of the Dance." I have been 'following' this journey, knowing Who is 'leading'...more dance terms, I know. But what an eloquent way your have shared faith's journey with those of us who care for you.
Whenever I hear "Lord of the Dance" I also hear echos of an earlier tune "Simple Gifts." They are forever intertwined, melody and message. This blog has been your gift, your simple gift. Thank you. So....
"To turn, turn will be our delight,
'Till by turning, turning
We come round right."
Know that we are turning with you till
"Twill be in the valley of love & delight."
Love, Kent and Marilee
Posted by: Marilee at January 25, 2005 08:32 AMDear Donel,
Just yesterday I got the latest newsletter which explained the 1/2 time plan. So now your latest news is a "quick step" in the dance, but I sense that you and the entire FCCB community have the kind of strong spirit needed for graceful next steps.
Blessings to you in the days ahead, and do know that even though I am on the other side of the State (or elsewhere) much of the time, I stand ready to help in any way you may wish.
SHALOM -- Randy Hyvonen
Posted by: Randy Hyvonen at January 26, 2005 10:58 AMMy Dear Donel,
Fortunately I had a call from Mary Becker alerting me and Kay Bliss to your blog news. Wow!
Shall I begin by begging you and Marilyn and all family to use my spiffy waterfront three bedroom house on Orcas? (facing Sucia Island).It's called Sunset House, with photos at CabinsOnThePoint.com. It's yours for days, weeks or months.
Or shall I send the small gift I've had to bring you since October (a birthday reconnection)?
I think I'll share a piece of biography I just wrote for my photo exhibit on Orcas. It reminds me of you today.
"I see life as constantly changing rhythms and segues, in all realms. Nothing is still. My calling is to share the fleeting moment, to freeze a frame of beauty, humor or love......
...I hope my photographs give you pause to notice and enjoy life's magic moments, every day."
I awoke to the full moon often last night. I thought of you, and moments, and magic, and I was restless. I held you for God to realign, such that you will be with us long, and fully. I love you dearly Donel. Add it to your huge pile, and come to Orcas when you will. Your old friend, Jennifer Fralick
Posted by: Jennifer Johnson Fralick at January 26, 2005 06:52 PMDonel,
You are fortunate to have such a loving and supportive congregation. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family as your dance continues.
Larry, Jill, Adam, and Eric
Posted by: Larry Berg at January 26, 2005 08:26 PMDear Donel,
All of a sudden. I had not been attending to your blog, but I heard from Cindy that you were retiring, and so I've been here this hour or so, catching up, watching, from this distance, your dance.
In Motorcycle Diaries, there's a humorous sub-theme about dancing. Che is not a dancer, but in one of the places where they stop he learns to do the rhumba. Later, he is encouraged and enticed into dancing again. He's assured that this is a rhumba, but when he gets out on the dance floor with a partner, he can't make it happen. It's actually a tango. [I am not certain about the accuracy of the dance designations in this anecdote.]
So there must be a correlation between the music and the dance. Remember Tillich's method of correlation? Of course if you are improvising the dance, as I recommend, all you have to do is really listen to the music.
And you do. You are an excellent listener, as entries in this blog testify. We're so interested these days in God's speaking, that we easily forget that God most often hums and shouts and whistles and screams wordlessly.
I'll give a call and come by soon to listen with you.
Love, Roger
To continue with the Monty Python theme, I send to you my virtual singing of "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life." (And I'm not the singer Meril is, so be glad for the virtual-ness of the singing!) Last weekend I had the JOY to be in California at a convention -- the first time away from the Murphy girls like this -- and the motivational speaker used this song. Everyone's singing and laughing and I'm thinking, Good song, but hard advice sometimes.
And then I return, only to rush darling Miss Amelia back to the hospital, where we sit still today. What's good about this?
So I post an update on HER website, and get a response from you, minutes after I talk with Meril and get the news of you.
There is a good side. Always. Nothing you don't know, and most of the time nothing I don't know either, but sometimes when you or your darling little girl is hurting, it's hard to remember. But today she got up out of bed for almost two hours before she was hurting. Life is good. God is good. We are, all of us, blessed to know each other and to walk this walk. Even when it's not a fun walk.
You remain in my prayers.
Pam and Amelia Murphy
I logged on to see how the backpain was doing and got a surprise. But I am happy to see that you understand that you must control your participation in the dance of life as well as the dance of cancer. It is important for all of us who are standing in line still hoping to have a twirl around the floor with you, to remember that you must make the choices that are best for you. I'd love to have another go-round but I count all the ones we have had in the past as precious gifts, beyond my deserving and beyond improvement.
You're in my heart and my prayers as are Marilyn, your family and your church family. --Maria
When my mom generally calls me on the phone it is to keep me updated on my favorite TV show or to tell me that rain is coming my way and I should be sure to keep a jacket with me. Imagine my shock when she did not tell me about the weather, but that a man that I have grown up watching preach and whom I have much respect for is continuing his dance wih cancer. I think my heart skipped a beat. What to do? Pray. So I prayed and I told others to pray. I just wanted to let you know that even down here in Portland we are praying for you. And we will keep praying for you. You are in my thoughts, prayers, and heart.
Posted by: Katie Hollod at January 28, 2005 07:19 PMDear Donel and Marilyn,
I've been trying to think of just the right words. My internal editor keeps reducing my best efforts down to their lowest common denominator. You both are loved and appreciated beyond words. This is precious time. Use it in the care of one another. I am visioning God's graceful hands resting gently on your shoulders. Love, Nancy
Dear Donel,
God is good . . . all the time. You are surrounded by so many who care for you. So many dance partners vying for the chance to spin around the floor with you. 'Tis sweet.
I did want to point out one thing about your retirement from the church. Yes, I know that you have to keep your opinions to yourself, etc. However there is nothing in the Manual on the Ministry that says "eye rolling" is a no no. I think it's perfectly appropiate for you to roll those eyeballs back as far as they will go when the interim makes some outlandish statement, when the moderator proposes some crazy budget, or when someone says "I know just how you feel."
Roll those eyes Donel! There's a Monty Python movie line we quote around here a bit that says, "Not dead yet!" Maybe you can perfect the British accent to go along with it and the eye rolling.
Live long and prosper, my friend.
Jennifer
Posted by: Jennifer at January 24, 2005 06:13 AM